Funny thing happened today. I was sitting around the house about to worry myself sick over how we were going to afford gas back and forth to work until Thursday when the wife calls and told me they’re giving away free gas at the local station down the road. At $3.25 a gallon no one in their right mind is just giving that stuff away. Sure enough, she calls back a few minutes later and said she stopped in and they put $25 worth of free gas in her tank. I hopped in the truck and burned the road up to get to that station. Come to find out there was a group from a local church at the station, the youth pastor explained to me that the church has been so blessed throughout the year that they wanted to give something back to the community. God bless ‘em.
This will be the last I post of the tragedy/comedy my life has become. I finally got my truck back. My cousin did me a huge solid on that. He put the new transmission and clutch in, I had to pay him for the clutch up front, he said I could take my time paying the $200 for the transmission and he’s not charging me for the labor or tow. I’m not going to let that happen, I’m going to compensate him somehow, even if we just invite him and his wife over for dinner one weekend. Now I have a steady reliable way back and forth to work, I’ve still got my job and insurance, so that’s a blessing in itself.
For right now, the major bills (rent, lights, phone) are basically caught up. Bank account is waaaay overdrawn, I need to pay $330 in income taxes before they start garnishing my wages, gotta put insurance on the truck and get it inspected this week, but we’re both working and have a roof over our head and food on the table so I’m not going to complain.
After about 8 years I’m finally back on medication for depression, anxiety and OCD. It’s only been two weeks and it takes a bit longer than that for the meds to really start working so I’ve been on a bit of a roller coaster lately, but it’s getting better. Not drinking helps tremendously, although I do miss my beer. I’m thinking once everything is back to normal I’ll have one or two some evenings. Hell, I’ve got almost a case of homebrew sitting in there already bottled and carbonated, just needs to be chilled. I’m dying to try that, but I can wait. Some things in life are just more important than beer.
As for the marital situation, I don’t really know what to say. We’d agreed a while back to a divorce, even went so far as to amicably discuss the division of assets. Then something changed and she decided she didn’t want a divorce and wanted to work things out. She’s also decided to start staying out til three in the morning and giving me 2 or 3 different reasons for doing so. I told her in the beginning she was welcome to stay here until her son graduated high school so she wouldn’t have to uproot him and enroll him in a new school during the final months of his educational career, so long as she helped pay the bills. It’s not that I hate the woman, I want to make sure she is doing ok and being taken care of, I’m just not really sure I’m the person that can do that for her anymore. For the time being we’re just cohabitating, keeping the animosity at minimal levels and trying to get through the day. I guess time will tell the eventual outcome.
To everyone that contributed to my Gofundme page, thank you so very much. I’d nearly forgotten that there were still people in this world that would help a complete stranger in their time of need, it restores my faith in humanity to witness those selfless acts firsthand.
To everyone that stops by this blog, thanks for letting me ramble on on this subject. Does me a world of good to take my freewheeling thoughts and organize them in one place here.
Just got home from the hospital yesterday, been there since Sunday afternoon. Got a slew of diagnosis, including major depressive disorder, anxiety, OCD, depression not otherwise specified and a few others. Sadly most of the reasons that put me in there still exist with the bonus of now I have to find money for medications too. As much as I hate to do it, I’ve put up a Gofundme page just to try and help keep the lights on and a roof over our heads, if any of my regular readers would like to chip in a few bucks here’s the link: http://www.gofundme.com/6vtpk4. Still not real sure how that whole thing works but I’m hoping the guy that told me about it will be able to coach me through it a little. At this point any little bit helps, and I thank you from the bottom of my heart.
By now you’re all watching the news about Pax ripping NC a new asshole. I went out at lunch and the flurries were just starting. Came back out 2 hours later at quitting time and there was about two inches on the ground. The ride down I-40/I-85 was terrifying. I’ve drove through some rough shit in my life, but never anything this bad with as bad a vehicle as I had. Then it occurred to me: had I still been driving my 83 Ford rear wheel drive pickup with the three on the tree, I never would have made it home. No way. I barely made it home in a Maxima. Even with a front wheel drive the car tried to cross up a few times, but my awesome driving skills pulled me out at the last minute.
No, the real horror came when I finally got home and realized I was snowbound for at least the next two days. With an uncontrollably hormonal woman with whom I just had a very, very loud shouting match 3 days ago.
Keep an eye on the North Carolina newspapers. One of us just might wind up on the headline page.
But seriously, that commute was hell. Starting to wish I plowed into a snowdrift.
The wife and I have agreed to divorce. She will continue to live here until June, when her son graduates high school. After that she’s out. My sister is going to loan me the money to put a new tranny in my truck. so I’ll be back on the road. Hopefully I’ll be able to pay all the bills at this place myself so I don’t have to get rid of my dogs or put any of my shit in storage. Man, I really didn’t want to get rid of my dogs. I fucking love those dogs.
Camper Van does a pretty good remake
I hate to keep posting about the shitstorm I’m currently caught up in, but for the time being this is my only outlet. I don’t know anyone at the new shop to bullshit with, if I attempt to talk to the wife it turns into a fight, so I write. I do have two very special friends that I met through this blog who I’ll be emailing very soon, and I guess that’s why I put this crap here. I meet new people and get new ideas, new input, new suggestions.
As things stand right now, we’re both driving borrowed cars, between two bank accounts we were $270 overdrawn, had to add another $250 to that so we could both have gas money to get to work for the next week as my whole paycheck was put towards overdraft fees, but apparently we don’t have any problems because she recently had her nails done. For the entire month of January her take home pay was a little over $700, she spent a little over $300 for fuel in the same period. And she got her fucking nails done. There’s three closets and one dresser in this house slam full of her clothes, I can’t even count high enough to number how many pairs of shoes she has, and she’s constantly buying more.
I’m obsessive-compulsive. The slightest bit of change in my normal daily routine can fuck me up for a day or two. Imagine what a complete upheaval in my life in the last three weeks has done to me psychologically. The next few weeks are going to be especially bad. I may have to get rid of my dogs. I’ve probably had those two blacks for 7 years, since they were weaned. I may have to find somewhere to store my lawn care equipment, “camping” gear, tools, everything. I may have to find somewhere to live.
And she’s already proven she’s going to be a vindictive bitch, the first thing she said when I first broached the subject of divorce was that she was going to sell my truck because the title is in her name.
Somehow, this is all my fault, because I drink 7 or 8 beers after work.
Calgon, do your fucking job.